Oiy veh! What A Week!!!

I wanted to take a moment and apologize for not posting. I have a tendency to shutdown when I am overloaded with stress, and I cannot cope with things. I have a lot going on in my personal life right now and am feeling down right now. I have been sick physically and it is starting to take a toll on my mental and emotional well being. The high pressure hose started leaking a week or so ago so I had to try to get it fixed this weekend and ended up spending the whole weekend fixing it.

I am also going through what I think is another heart hurt. I have been talking to someone who I was hoping would turn into something more, and just out of the blue he has stopped communicating with me. It is very weird and I don't know if I am just reading too much into it or my inner voice is telling me to not fall completely.

Anyways that is just two of the things I am stressing about this weekend. I am trying to catch up and I apologize to all of you.

Unit 3

1. Based on your reflections, and on a scale of 1 to 10 (ten being optimal wellbeing), where do you rate your A-physical wellbeing, B-spiritual well-being, C-psychological well-being? Why?
This has actually been an overwhelming assignment for me; I am going to be very transparent with these questions because well, that is the only way I know how to be. So that being said I hope you do not think I’m a nut job ;0). On to the assignment….how would I rate my overall wellness.
A – Physical wellbeing: Well I would have to say if I measure my physical health today from what it was last year I would have to say it is at an 8-9. I went through 2 years of health problems, weight loss, pain, and many tests trying to figure out that I needed my gallbladder removed. Since February when they took the little sucker out I am doing much better. I still do not feel 100% though. My issue now is I have gained some weight since my surgery so I am feeling uncomfortable.
B - Spiritual well being: Unfortunately I would say this is at about 5-6 right now. I am actually ashamed to say that. I used to go to church every Sunday and try to attend all of the church seminars and programs. Then this past year hit me like a brick! I became angry with God about some emotional things which have been going on in my life and stopped going to church and communing with Him. I would not recommend this to anyone, but it is something which has happened to me. I would honestly have to say communing with God through prayer, fasting, and meditation is one of the most spiritually fulfilling things. I mean that is why we were created to commune and draw closer to God, right?
C – Psychological wellbeing: I would rate my psychological wellbeing right now at a 4-5. I know that sounds bad but, it is a lot better than it has been this past year. I have been going through a struggle this past year, but with help I am getting better and stronger.

2. Develop a goal for yourself in each area (physical, spiritual, psychological).
A- Physical wellbeing: Specific: I would like to lose 5 -10 pounds; Measurable: to watch my diet and find time to work out; Attainable: this goal is attainable as long as I stay focused and determined; Realistic: losing 5 – 10 pounds is a realistic goal as long as I stay focused and become less sedentary; Timely: losing this extra weight and toning up should not take that long. I should be able to lose a couple pounds within 1-2 months.
B- Spiritual wellbeing: Specific: to become closer to God; Measurable: to become closer to God I must get back to prayer, worship, and begin meditation in the word and thought. Attainable: becoming closer to God is an attainable goal, as long as I can find a quiet place and quiet time to focus. Realistic: Becoming closer to God and renewing my faith and spirituality is a realistic goal. I just need to begin and quiet my spirit again. Timely: I can begin to renew my spiritual growth right away. This class is helping me with this.
C- Psychological wellbeing: Specific: continue to attend therapy and take my medicine. Also move into a peaceful area where I can focus on me and not everyone else; Measurable: this is an ongoing goal so I am not sure how to measure this. I guess I could measure the moving part. I am planning on moving which is in part due to making me healthy, Attainable: moving to a place that I can renew myself is attainable by moving from the negativity I currently live in; Realistic: this is realistic and will happen; Timely: I have been postponing moving until I found a job; this is unrealistic so I will not postpone it any longer and will make my move within the next two months.

3. What activities or exercise can you implement in your life to assist in moving toward each goal? I will begin to do my yoga and exercise more regularly. I will focus on meditation and prayer, and I will continue to use meditation with my anxiety. I will also prepare to move away and start my new life journey.

4. Complete the relaxation exercise The Crime of the Century. To hear this exercise, click here. Describe your experience. (What it beneficial? Frustrating? etc.)
I really enjoyed this exercise. It is hard for me to get quiet time in my present living conditions. So I had to wait until no one was home to complete this. I had an easier time focusing and visualizing the colors. I had to really concentrate but was able to faintly see the colors of the rainbow. It is very hard for me to visualize things so I felt this was a n accomplishment. I also fell asleep at the end again .

Unit 2 - reflections

Welcome to my blog; this is the second class I have had to keep a blog in. I hope you enjoy reading my thoughts and experiences. In my past class we blogged either on the unit or things going on in our personal life.

I am really excited about learning the principles and techniques in this class. I plan on using them in my personal life, and also in my profession.

I really enjoyed the exercise Journey to relaxation. I am going to continue to use it. The only quiet time I found to try it was right before I went to sleep. I ended up almost falling asleep with my laptop still on in my lap :0). I have always found it hard to settle my thoughts long enough to concentrate on one thing(ADD they say), so this is something I need to really practice. I hope it is something I can learn because I believe it will help me in prayer and meditation.

AHH The Weekend!!

Ahh! What bliss the weekend is finally here. This week has been a struggle in some areas for me, but its all good in the hood now that Friday is here ;o). I started my fourth term this past Wednesday, and oh my what a doosie it is gonna be. I had my first A&P class and oh my is my instructor boring! It was like Ben Stine except not nasally. I hope this next 9 weeks go by fast. Oh and he is a stickler for rules, no personal this, or that, and you have to have one reference for each discussion class. I guess I got used to my past instructors having us use our brains for our own insight and thoughts not someone else.

Anyways I'm quite excited tonight! I love ice hockey for those of you who do not know, and my Philadelphia Flyers are making history tonight! They were down 0-3 in the play off series against the Bruins, and have managed to come back, tie the series, an force a game 7. If they win tonight they will be the 3rd team in all of NHL history to do so. So I am watching that game tonight! I can't wait.

Tomorrow I'm off to the beach with my only friend here in FL. We're going to enjoy the 91 degree weather, and have some drinks by the ocean. The only pleasant thing about living in FL or at least until the oil spill ruins our waters.

Boundaries anyone???

So About.com defines boundaries as the following: " The emotional and physical space that we place between ourselves and others." Why is this something that many have a hard time setting, and when set others have a hard time following? In my life I must admit I am learning how to set boundaries with people. I have always had a personality where I let people use me, dump on me and so forth and so on. When I do not do this I feel somehow guilty and like a bad person. I am learning to say no though :0), which I might add is a good thing.

Yet I find I get sucked into emotional crap on a daily basis by a certain unnamed friend. I mean I understand I'm your friend, I will be a shoulder for you to cry on but GOOD GRIEF I'm an office assistant not a therapist!!!!! If I say I'm sorry you are having a bad day I will contact you later, don't IM me two hours later to tell me your ex told his new girlfriend he loves her! I mean I know it hurts but the person who told you most definitely did it to hurt you. There is nothing you can do to change it! Just buck up and say he was a 33 yr old loser dead beat dad of 2 working at Chili's not doing anything with his life, who couldn't handle a strong female so he is now with a 20 year old. I mean can we say LOSER!!!!

These are the only words I can say. I can't do anything else, except turn my phone off so I can actually work! Should I really need to do this? I mean really? All I have to say is ..... BOUNDARIES ANYONE?????????

Fun, Family, Sun & Knitting

Well this weekend since it was my weekend "off" from school I lived it up ! My step sister graduated from the University of North Florida on Friday. She graduated with a Major in International Business Administration & a Minor in Spanish.I took Friday off work and drove up to Jacksonville for the day. I am very proud of her! She went to college the same year that she graduated high school, even though her mom passed away when she was 17. After the ceremony we spent the day together. I had a lot of fun with her and her friends. We went to something called A Margarita fest. It was basically like a wine tasting convention but for liquor. It was a lot of fun, there were tables everywhere and most of them had new un - released alcohol which they were showcasing.

Saturday morning my friend Jodi and I went to New Smyrna Beach for the day. It was really hot here in Central Florida this weekend like 90 degrees. Needless to say even though I used sunscreen an reapplied several times I got sunburned. I had fun though, I met some new people. So by Saturday night I was so exhausted I was asleep before midnight, and slept in until 9:30 this morning.Needless to say I have had a very unproductive day today. It basically consisted of me laying on the couch watching T.V.

Oh Well! A girl is allowed laziness sometimes, right?

F-I-N-A-L-S WEEK

Man I can't believe it, finals are here again!!! How time flies by when you are stressed, work a full time job, and are a college student. I can't believe I am about to finish my third term. It seems like yesterday I was logging into class for the first time.

I am having issues trying to get my final paper finished. I tried so hard to not make too many commitments this week, but yet again I have been trapped. I also am having issues focusing on it. Oh well I guess it is what it is. I will finish it before Tuesday ... maybe I need the sun to stand still like in the book of Joshua. Wish me luck